Sorry Mom, by The Galpines

Sorry Mom

by The Galpines

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1.	Go To Sleep 01:38	lyrics	buy track
Go to sleep, you little baby Go to sleep, you little baby Your mama's gettin' lit and your daddy's gonna trip Shouldn't be awake for this, you little baby Sleep tight, pretty baby Sleep tight, you pretty baby Your mama pumped her breasts for a week before this fest Gettin' drunker than the time she made a baby Don't you wake, pretty baby Don't you wake, pretty baby Your mama and me and your daddy makes three Now we're rollin' on E, it's gettin' crazy You're a cockblocker, baby You little cockblockin' baby Got up to change your bum, now you've ruined our fun This is why I never want a baby Sleep tight, you little baby Sleep tight, you little baby The party rages on, we'll be up til dawn And we'll see you in the mornin', little baby
2.	Autopilot 03:36	lyrics	buy track
How did I get home last night? Did I take off all my clothes or start a fight? I can guarantee I was not at my finest Jesus take the wheel, I'm on autopilot Headin' to a friend's for a couple of drinks Gonna take it easy, need my forty winks Two leads to four and four to eight Looks like we're gonna stay up a little late How did I get home last night? Did I take off all my clothes or start a fight? I can guarantee I was not at my finest Jesus take the wheel, I'm on autopilot Started way too early hittin' the booze And I'm on my way upstairs to take a snooze When the gals call me up for a drink down at the bar So I paint on my face and hop in their car How did I get home last night? Did I take off all my clothes or start a fight? I can guarantee I was not at my finest Jesus take the wheel, I'm on autopilot You'd think one day I would learn my limits But it's all so tasty from tequila to Guinness Gimme all your delicious spirits Until I become incoherent How did I get home last night? Did I take off all my clothes or start a fight? I can guarantee I was not at my finest Jesus take the wheel, I'm on autopilot Jesus take the wheel, I'm on autopilot Jesus take the wheel, I'm on autopilot
3.	Litterbug 01:51	lyrics	buy track
Drivin' down the road in the Miramichi Tim's cup sails out the car in front of me I scream out loud, what's this fuckery? I'll never fuck a litterbug My face turns red and I flip him the bird Curse him up and down, but I don't think he heard I'll tell you now, and you know I'll keep my word I'll never fuck a litterbug You are a garbage human if you don't put trash in its place If you throw your shit out the window, I'll throw my fists in your face And I'll never fuck No, I'll never fuck No, I'll never fucking fuck a litterbug So go and fuck yourself
4.	Visa Bill Blues 03:18	lyrics	buy track
Woke up this mornin', I was feelin' just fine So I decided to do a little shoppin' online (Amazon Prime) Rack up that credit, better pay the man on time I got nothin to lose, I got the Visa bill blues Browsing through my favourite little Etsy store Got me some hot pants, better order two pairs more (more, more, more!) It ain't cheap to look good, gonna drop three bills for sure It's so hard to refuse, I got the Visa bill blues The exchange rate's a killer, but that don't bother me Buyin' cheap shit from China, spendin' Euros in Italy (Grazia! Si, si!) Get real high and buy that Shamwow off TV Just payin' minimum dues, I got the Visa bill blues Open up the mailbox, much to my dismay No more presents, just a stack of bills to pay (mmmm hmmm) I sit my broke ass down, hang my head and pray All out of fancy booze, I got the Visa bill blues Can't return these tattoos, I got the Visa bill blues Took my mom on a cruise, I got the Visa bill blues I'm gonna keep these shoes, I got the Visa bill blues (Visa bill, Mastercard, AmEx blues)
5.	#Blessed 02:47	lyrics	buy track
My job is fun, I am not stressed Shrink says I am not depressed Perhaps a little self-obsessed But I think that I'm just blessed Hashtag blessed, hashtag blessed, hashtag blessed My Facebook page says I'm the best My queue is full of friend requests I'm two weeks off of house arrest And I'm feelin' pretty blessed Hashtag blessed, hashtag blessed, hashtag blessed Post selfies while I'm getting dressed Clean bill of health on my pap test You wanna buy my drink? Well, be my guest Can't you see I'm stupid blessed Hashtag blessed, hashtag blessed, hashtag blessed It's true I'm super lucky and I want the world to see Some folks say "check your privilege" but they don't bother me If you believe in karma, then I know you will agree I must be great 'cause awesome shit keeps happening to me My horoscope says "buy a vest" My weight gain went straight to my chest New follower on Twitter, it's Kanye West Can't you see I'm fuckin' blessed Hashtag blessed, hashtag blessed, hashtag blessed
6.	Dog > Baby 02:20	lyrics	buy track
People always asking me When you gonna settle down, get married Buy a house, buy a car All the happy people are Startin' families, makin' babies Why aren't you? Wake up through the night, too lazy Changing diapers, no, can't pay me Screamin', cryin', gonna drive me crazy My dog is better than your baby I see them in the grocery store Ragin' toddlers on the floor Sticky hands, grubby face Screamin' while their parents beg Please stop cryin', they're all starin' What can I do? Wake up through the night, too lazy Changing diapers, no, can't pay me Screamin', cryin', gonna drive me crazy My dog is better than your baby I know when I go out at night My dog she's gonna be alright Get real drunk, come home late She don't judge, her tail still wags What's the meanin' of all this breedin'? Should I make one too? (FUCK NO!) Wake up through the night, too lazy Changing diapers, no, can't pay me Screamin', cryin', gonna drive me crazy Pressure from your parents? Throw a baby at it! Nothin' new on Netflix? Throw a baby at it! Want more likes on Insta? Throw a baby! My dog is better than your baby Marriage sorta rocky? Throw a baby at it! Feeling kinda lonely? Throw a baby at it! Want that federal money? Throw a baby! My dog is better than your baby
7.	Wigs and Cocaine 03:37	lyrics	buy track
Spent all my money on wigs and cocaine Don't yell at me, honey, it's hurtin' my brain I look fuckin' good, but I'm goin' insane I blew all my money on wigs and cocaine Last night I sat down and got into the wine Two bottles in, I was shoppin' online Seemed like such a good deal at the time Shipped to my door for free ninety-nine Spent all my money on wigs and cocaine Don't yell at me, honey, it's hurtin' my brain I look fuckin' good, but I'm goin' insane I blew all my money on wigs and cocaine Ran into a shifty-eyed dude at the bar Told me he had some cocaine in his car He had a hot tub, and it wasn't too far Sign me up, buddy, I'm a fuckin' rock star Stopped to pick up my new wigs with my gals Disco coke party with all of my pals Snarfed up as much as my nose would allow We'll pay tomorrow but we're havin' fun now Spent all my money on wigs and cocaine Don't yell at me, honey, it's hurtin' my brain I look fuckin' great, but I'm goin' insane I blew all my money on wigs and cocaine Well, I spent all my money on wigs and cocaine My heart and my wallet are feelin' the pain This wig looks all janky, is that a blood stain? Yes, I blew all my money on wigs and cocaine Spent all my money on wigs and cocaine I blew through that party like a runaway train Got home with my purse, so I can't complain But I blew all my money on wigs and cocaine I blew all my money on wigs and cocaine Yes, I blew all my money on wigs and cocaine
8.	Lost in the 'Pines 02:57	lyrics	buy track
Headin' out to NB Liquor to check out what's on sale Don't want no bullshit craft beer, fuck that India Pale Ale Don't need expensive whiskey or four litres of box wine I spend my hard earned money to get lost in the 'Pines Yes, I get lost in the 'Pines Don't mean no one no harm, I'm just havin' a good time Sometimes it seems that I'm losin' my mind But I'm just lost in the 'Pines Well, I heard that it's your birthday, so let's have a drink or two (or twelve!) It's Friday night, let's party, we've surely earned a few Girl, I seriously love you! We've had so many good times What the fuck? It's Sunday?! We got lost in the 'Pines Yes, we got lost in the 'Pines Don't know how we managed to lose track of all this time Ask anyone and they'll say we're doin' fine We just got lost in the 'Pines How did I end up with this stranger in the night? Why did I wake up so awkward in the light? Why can't I remember who started the fight? Pass me that warm 'Pine and everything will be alright Yes, we got lost in the 'Pines Spent all of my money, now I'm down to my last some Lost my cell phone and my dignity, still havin' a good time When I'm lost in the 'Pines When I'm lost in the 'Pines When I'm lost in the 'Pines
9.	Pants Are Dumb 03:37	lyrics	buy track
Pants are dumb, jeans are jail, pants are dumb, jeans are jail Pants are dumb, jeans are jail, pants are dumb, jeans are jail Let my girl get some air, it's really hot under there Let her breathe, if you please, those skirts come off with such ease These pants are prison, lord set me free My muffin top's about to pop, I need relief My thighs and calves are screamin' out Let's stop this nonsense, let 'em out Me arse 'n' cooter long to feel the breeze Let's save them from this life of misery Pants are dumb, jeans are jail, pants are dumb, jeans are jail My camel toe ain't on the low, don't restrict me down below Shorts treat me a little better, 'less I'm faced with some bad weather These pants are prison, lord set me free My muffin top's about to pop, I need relief My thighs and calves are screamin' out Let's stop this nonsense, let 'em out Me arse 'n' cooter long to feel the breeze Let's save them from this life of misery Pants are dumb, jeans are jail, pants are dumb, jeans are jail Box is mighty sweaty, sticky, guess we'll have to skip the quickie Think it's time to burn my panties, fuck that thong up in my fanny These pants are prison, lord set me free My muffin top's about to pop, I need relief My thighs and calves are screamin' out Let's stop this nonsense, let 'em out Me arse 'n' cooter long to feel the breeze Let's save them from this life of misery Pants are dumb, jeans are jail, pants are dumb, jeans are jail Jeans are jail, pants are dumb, skirts are nice and so's yer bum Shorts are fun both day and night, tights are pants with cellulite Tits are proof God's a dude, bras are bullshit, fuck them too (fuck them too!) Ditch your trousers, kick the habit now Drop your panties, ladies shout it out Guys hate pants too, you should let 'em swing Down with pants now, everybody sing These pants are prison, lord set me free My muffin top's about to pop, I need relief My thighs and calves are screamin' out Let's stop this nonsense, let 'em out Me arse 'n' cooter long to feel the breeze Let's save them from this life of misery Let's save them from this life of misery
10.	Sorry Mom 04:00	lyrics	buy track
Sorry Mom, you had such high hopes for me But all I do is sing about drinkin' and a-smokin' the weed I hope you accept this sincere apology So I'm sorry Mom, please forgive my fuckin' blasphemy Sorry Mom, sorry Mom, ooooooh Sorry Mom, sorry Dad, toooooo Sorry Mom, I know my education wasn't free Your music lessons turned into a crass country PhD It sucks I got arrested but that wasn't my PCP So I'm sorry Mom, at least it's not a felony Sorry Mom, sorry Mom, ooooooh Sorry Mom, sorry Dad, toooooo Sorry Mom, you had such high hopes for me But all I do is sing about drinkin' and a-smokin' the weed I hope you accept this sincere apology So I'm sorry Mom, please forgive my fuckin' blasphemy Sorry Mom, sorry Mom, ooooooh Sorry Mom, sorry Dad, toooooo Sorry Mom, ain't ya fuckin' proud of me? Sorry Mom, please forgive my fuckin' blasphemy

credits

released July 21, 2018

The Galpines are:
Mandi DaGreat - bass, vocals
Heather Narduzzi - ukulele, harmonica, vocals
Amy Stone - guitar, vocals
Abbey Warren - mandolin, vocals

Special guests:
Phil Flowers - lap steel guitar on Lost in the 'Pines
Christine Gollan - organ on Wigs and Cocaine
Alex Madsen - guitar on Autopilot
Catriona Sturton - harmonica on Visa Bill Blues

Produced by The Galpines & Don Levandier
Mixed and mastered by Don Levandier

Sorry Mom tattoo art by Ghandy
Cover photo by Kendra Gale
Album layout by Abbey Warren

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about

The Galpines Moncton, New Brunswick

If you enjoy your honky-tonk on the bawdy side, this all-female, crass-country, hyphen-lovin’ comedy-band from the shady neighbourhoods of Moncton, NB will be right up your alley. Their rich four-part harmonies take centre stage in anthems about binge drinking, baby heckling, and bad credit. ... more